1IROWhether or not the best indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its 2PUNpeople is a complex 3POWproblem. 4TRAOn the one hand, the average ability of each 5POWpeople to make a living is the best pointer to judge a nation. 6TRAOn the other hand, canon to indicate a great nation, 7PREon some circumstances, depends exactly on the achievements of their governors, politicians8PUN, 9CONeducators 10CUTand so on. Actually, 11LOGthere is another criterion to judge a nation.

12EXCAdmittedly, if a nation can be called a great nation, it must have comprehensive strength 13PREon 14POWeach 15POWside. 16CONAnd 17ARTthe 18CAPpowerful national strength is represented not only 19ARTby success of the minor elite, but also by the happiness and living quality of national citizens. 20TRAObviously, the latter is more important 21ARTthan former, 22PREbecause 23ARTthe 24PUNaverage 25PROrepresent the whole. As for the living quality, people need to have enough money to afford their daily living necessities26PUN, 27CONand 28ARTa nation 29POWmust have some people who 30CNTdon’t have enough money to sustain their lives, 31CUTso 32PLUgovernment should guarantee their basic needs to provide their food and living supplies, which we may call 33PROit welfare. Only when 34POWevery 35MISmeet their essential demands, 36WORthey will espouse the government and therefore the whole 37COUpublics 38MIShave 39ARTstrong cohesion, 40MISwhich 41PRGresult in great nation.

42TRAHowever, the indicator 43ARTof great nation is not represented 44ARTby welfare 45ARTof people only. 46TRAFirstly, 47FORbefore the modern nation appears, citizens 48POWare not equal to their governors and there would not be any welfare for people. In 49COUancients50MIS, plenty of nations once had splendid art and architectural achievements, but their people always 51VTElive in 52ARTthe sorrow and fear. Like 53EXCancient Rome, emperors 54CUThad built the inimitable and great architecture, but heavy tax and unreasonable rule 55VTEmake their 56PLUcitizen overthrow them. 57TRASecondly, when a nation is 58PREon poor condition, achievements of their national elites would indicate their great power more quickly than welfare. 59TRAOn the one hand, 60PUNachievements of few people would 61POWspend less time and be recognized by more people faster, and once a nation has some achievements others would admire it. 62TRAOn the other hand, building sophisticated welfare systems not only cost much time but also demand plentiful 63POWsubstances, which 64POWresult from much more achievements 65PREof a variety of fields.

In my opinion, the indicator of a great nation is not represented by the two above 66PROI talked about. Compared to ancient nations, 67EXCthe real modern great nation must protect the diversity and freedom of each citizen, providing equal opportunity to everyone to work and study. Great 68PLUnation should realize that 69ARTthe each individual 70VTEhave 71ARTeffect 72ARTon whole 73WFOsociety 74PUNadvancement and it is 75POWconsisted of every legal person in the nation but not the minor elite as ancient 76POWrecord of 77PLUsociety78MIS. Providing equivalent chances and respecting each other, everyone has their gift to create something new or surpass original form, like the extant diversity of scientists, actors79PUN, 80CONrulers 81CUTand so on. All these phenomena that break the original natural order, 82INCthe white is the upper, are due to equality and respect.

83CNCTo sum up, the indicator 84ARTof great nation is represented by equality, freedom and respect of everyone, but 85POWrather the achievements or welfare alone.


James James



In addressing the specific task directions, a 4 response presents a competent examination of the argument and conveys meaning with acceptable clarity.
A typical response in this category
• identifies and examines aspects of the argument relevant to the assigned task, but may also discuss some extraneous points
• develops and organizes ideas satisfactorily, but may not connect them with transitions
• supports its main points adequately, but may be uneven in its support
• demonstrates sufficient control of language to convey ideas with reasonable clarity
• generally demonstrates control of the conventions of standard written English, but may have some errors


Hello=) Welcome to SmartPigai!

You have developed a good response to the topic. Your introduction has been well established. However, it is important that you indicate whether you agree or disagree because the topic is specific about this. That means, your thesis statement needs to show the side you have taken. Actually this means your essay is supposed to be based on one of the two ideas given in the thesis. "Though great people contribute much to the development of nations and can be a sure way to judge it according to their achievements, it is basically the welfare of a nation's people that best describes how great it is." If you have an idea different from what is required, it is worth bringing it up towards the end of the essay or in the conclusion. This helps avoid getting off topic.

According to your second paragraph, it shows that you are in for the second school of thought. It is commendable that you developed good topic sentences in the main body paragraphs. These are followed by good explanations and examples. This is the required structure of paragraphs of such a topic.

The conclusion has been well developed. It now shows your stand contrary to what the thesis requires you to do. This is fine.

You need to address the grammar errors in the essay so as to have a better essay.

-- Never should you use "and" to start a sentence in a formal essay.
-- Try to make a review of the use of the articles.
-- Avoid formation errors like "before the modern nation appears" because they make the understanding of ideas difficult.
There are numerous errors. Read the comments for corrections.

To write better than this, though you actually have some good sentence structures, like the ones used in the introduction, more diversified structures will be helpful as well.

A thesis of this caliber requires a horde of vocabulary to make it more advanced.

Hope to see you again at SmartPigai!





工作时间:09:00AM - 08:00PM