• addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places
• expresses a position but the development is not always clear and there may be no conclusions drawn
• presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed; there may be irrelevant detail
Coherence and cohesion
• presents information with some organisation but there may be a lack of overall progression
• makes inadequate, inaccurate or overuse of cohesive devices
• may be repetitive because of lack of referencing and substitution
• may not write in paragraphs, or paragraphing may be inadequate
• uses a limited range of vocabulary, but this is minimally adequate for the task
• may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader
Grammatical range and accuracy
• uses only a limited range of structures
• attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences
• may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can cause some difficulty for the reader
Hello, welcome to SmartPigai.
Here is a general feedback of your essay.
1. You have made a good analysis of the data given in the line graph. Your summary of the data covers all aspects of the graph. It is commendable that you started with making a comparison of the most distinct features of the graph. Such a summary requires good descriptive and comparative language. Thus, more of this is needed.
2. You made many single word errors that have made the essay look ugly. These include, among others, spellings, punctuations and poor use of prepositions.The wrong spelling of grams as "gramps" is consistent in your essay and actually shows that you did not proofread the essay after writing it. Otherwise, this mistake should not have happened. It is inexcusable.
3. Mind the word forms in your writing, for example, "consumption" in the second paragraph should be "consumed" because of the phrasing of the sentence. Avoid such grammar mistakes so as to write a better summary.
Despite being a sum of data given, it also requires good vocabulary and descriptive language.
Welcome to see you again at SmartPigai:)
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