1IRO The curve line shows the details regarding the consumption of fish and other kinds of meat per person per week in a European country during 25 years since 1979. Over the span of 25 years. the consumption for chicken2PUN , beef3PUN , and fish shows a different trend4EXC.

In1979, beef 5CUThas 6VTEbecome the largest meat 7WFOconsumption8PUN ,9CUTwhhich 10POWoccupys 11PREabout 12SPL22o grams per person per week , 13SPLappromately 150 14SPLgramps in lamb15PUN , 140 16SPLgramps 17PREin chicken and 60 18SPLgramps 19PREin fish.

A 20WFOdramatical 21EXCdecline in beef consumption can be seen22PUN ,23PROwhich falling 24SPLswifyly from 220 25SPLgramps to 100 26SPLgramps , between 1979 and 2004. 27TRABy contrast28PUN the consumption29PRE for chicken shows an 30SPLoppsite trend31PUN . 32CAPit 33VTEexperiences a 34EXCsignificant increase35PUN , rising from 140 36SPLgramps in 1974 to 250 37SPLgramps in 2004.

38TRA Similarly, the consumption 39PREfor lamb and beef shares a similar40SPL flucutuation. 41CONand 42CAPthe consumption 43PREfor lamb falls sharply form 150 44SPLgramps in 1979 to 60 gramps in 2004. Surprisely, the consumption 45PREfor fish 46VTEremains 47SPLcostant at 50 48SPLgramps over the period of 25 years form 1974.

49CNCIn conclusion , as is shown in the curve line, chicken has become one of the most vital meat in our table50PUN , which has 51SPLsubstitued52MIS other 53COUmeats such as beef54PUN , lamb and fish.


James James




Task response
• addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places
• expresses a position but the development is not always clear and there may be no conclusions drawn
• presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed; there may be irrelevant detail

Coherence and cohesion
• presents information with some organisation but there may be a lack of overall progression
• makes inadequate, inaccurate or overuse of cohesive devices
• may be repetitive because of lack of referencing and substitution
• may not write in paragraphs, or paragraphing may be inadequate

Lexical resource
• uses a limited range of vocabulary, but this is minimally adequate for the task
• may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader

Grammatical range and accuracy
• uses only a limited range of structures
• attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences
• may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can cause some difficulty for the reader


Hello, welcome to SmartPigai.
Here is a general feedback of your essay.

1. You have made a good analysis of the data given in the line graph. Your summary of the data covers all aspects of the graph. It is commendable that you started with making a comparison of the most distinct features of the graph. Such a summary requires good descriptive and comparative language. Thus, more of this is needed.

2. You made many single word errors that have made the essay look ugly. These include, among others, spellings, punctuations and poor use of prepositions.The wrong spelling of grams as "gramps" is consistent in your essay and actually shows that you did not proofread the essay after writing it. Otherwise, this mistake should not have happened. It is inexcusable.

3. Mind the word forms in your writing, for example, "consumption" in the second paragraph should be "consumed" because of the phrasing of the sentence. Avoid such grammar mistakes so as to write a better summary.

Despite being a sum of data given, it also requires good vocabulary and descriptive language.

Welcome to see you again at SmartPigai:)





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