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- 冠词错误(13)
- 选词错误(20)
- 标点错误(2)
- 多余文字(3)
- 介词错误(5)
- 词序不当(1)
- 时态错误(7)
- 逻辑错误(3)
- 单词重复过多(1)
- 打字错误(2)
- 所有格错误(1)
- 良好开端！(1)
- 好样的！(3)
- 过渡恰当！(5)
- 总结到位！(1)
6Charlie Chaplin can be7 a suitable to properly validate my viewpoint. Charlie Chaplin, a famous comedy actor and a courageous artist, even under a series of threats and difficulties and 8being against authority9 revealed 10to the evil of Nazism 11by his first 12vocal film. 13The Great Dictator when Chaplin, was shooting the movie, he encountered many difficulties from people who 14have money and power. 15For instance, he received a warning said that he would 16meet the censorship if he kept going on. Moreover, 17the British officials also 18presented their worries that they doubted whether this film19 could go to the public20. 21In a sharp contrast, Charlie Chaplin did not shrink back, rather, he firmly 22stick to23 the aim, 24being against 25the authority. Chaplin said he had set his 26wind to finish the movie. In the next days, there were more letters warning him not to 27perform that movie. 28Again, Chaplin did not surrender to 29the authority and kept casting doubt on it. With 30the determination and firm faith in 31the justice, Chaplin finally finished the film. 32As a result, the ugly image of 33Nazi and evil desire and greedy mind of Hitler 34has been fully revealed35 in front of the world. If Chaplin had not challenged 36the authority 37and had decided to follow it, he would not have become a 38spiritual icon 39that has been respected a lot40.
41Another sound 42reason to support my viewpoint is 43the story of John Nash. John Nash, a famous mathematician and economist, created his theory and won the Nobel Prize by challenging Adams Smith. Before44, 1950, 45Adams Smith was respected as the father of Game Theory and his ideas were 46believed by the majority of people 47engaging the field of 48economy. 49Nevertheless, Nash, a researcher 50in Princeton University stood 51out to point out errors 52of 53Smith’ theory, which was regarded as the absolute authority in the field of 54economy. He insisted on his own theory, regardless of doubt and criticism from others. 55Finally, he established56 Nash Equilibrium and won57 Nobel Prize. It 58is59 Nash’s questioning the authority Adams Smith that 60helps discover the truth of Game theory and hence 61fasten the development of our society62.
63After 64viewing the examples and reasoning above, we can reach the conclusion that it is important to question 65the people in 66the position of authority, because challenging 67the authority
68 helps develop the society. 7
满分12分
James
分数说明
由于评分主观性客观存在，此处分数仅供参考。
分项说明
An essay in this category is competent, demonstrating adequate mastery, although it will have lapses in quality. A typical essay
• develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates competent critical thinking, using adequate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support its position
• is generally organized and focused, demonstrating some coherence and progression of ideas
• exhibits adequate but inconsistent facility in the use of language, using generally appropriate vocabulary
• demonstrates some variety in sentence structure
• has some errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics
总评
Hello! Welcome to SmartPigai.
You have definite strengths in this essay. Your Introduction and C-onclusion are clear and concise. You have good examples and details to support your points. The main weakness is that although you convince the reader that these are 2 examples of people who questioned authority, you do not explain how they contributed to the "advancement of mankind" specifically enough (as I noted in my comments).
In terms of grammar, you make mistakes in verb tense. Here is a good resource for reviewing verb tense: http://www.englishpage.com/verbpage/verbtenseintro.html
You also make mistakes in prepositions so here is a resource for review: http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/prepositions.html
And,finally, You can use this simple flow chart to decide which article to use:
Step 1 - is this a proper noun? - If yes, there is no article.
Step 2 - if no, is it a specific noun? - If yes, use "the"
Step 3 - If no, is it an uncountable noun? - If yes, no article.
Step 4 - If no, is it a plural noun? - If yes, no article.
Step 5 - If no, does it begin with a vowel (a,e,i,o,u) - If yes, use "an" If no, use "a" Mistakes in articles do not usually interfere with understanding but you make many errors so it's a bit distracting for the reader.
If you can cut the number of mistakes with articles by even 25% that would be helpful.
Hope to see you again at SmartPigai!
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