An essay in this category is competent, demonstrating adequate mastery, although it will have lapses in quality. A typical essay
• develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates competent critical thinking, using adequate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support its position
• is generally organized and focused, demonstrating some coherence and progression of ideas
• exhibits adequate but inconsistent facility in the use of language, using generally appropriate vocabulary
• demonstrates some variety in sentence structure
• has some errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics
Hello! Welcome to SmartPigai.
You have definite strengths in this essay. Your Introduction and C-onclusion are clear and concise. You have good examples and details to support your points. The main weakness is that although you convince the reader that these are 2 examples of people who questioned authority, you do not explain how they contributed to the "advancement of mankind" specifically enough (as I noted in my comments).
In terms of grammar, you make mistakes in verb tense. Here is a good resource for reviewing verb tense: http://www.englishpage.com/verbpage/verbtenseintro.html
You also make mistakes in prepositions so here is a resource for review: http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/prepositions.html
And,finally, You can use this simple flow chart to decide which article to use:
Step 1 - is this a proper noun? - If yes, there is no article.
Step 2 - if no, is it a specific noun? - If yes, use "the"
Step 3 - If no, is it an uncountable noun? - If yes, no article.
Step 4 - If no, is it a plural noun? - If yes, no article.
Step 5 - If no, does it begin with a vowel (a,e,i,o,u) - If yes, use "an" If no, use "a" Mistakes in articles do not usually interfere with understanding but you make many errors so it's a bit distracting for the reader.
If you can cut the number of mistakes with articles by even 25% that would be helpful.
Hope to see you again at SmartPigai!
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