雅思写作机经大作文2012年12月8日

题目: In most parts of world, men and women are deciding to have children later in life.

Why do you think this is happening?

What effects does the development have on society and family life?

Nowadays, more and more young couples choose to give birth to babies later. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons and analyze its effects both on family and on society as a whole.

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

1 描述事实

2 总起全文

此段功能

点明全文的逻辑和要点

Firstly, there is no doubt that today’s youngsters usually undertake more pressure than before. So, they have to think twice before deciding to have a baby, because giving birth to a baby means more responsibilities they have to shoulder. Secondly, many young people lead unhealthy lives. Some of them take alcohol without limitation, which results in infertility.

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

1 分析年轻夫妇晚要孩子的第一个原因：生活压力大

2 第二个原因：不健康的生活方式导致不孕不育

此段功能

本段是文章第二段，完成本题写作的第一个要求：是什么原因造成了晚育?

Before they are able to have their baby, they may have to face some pregnancy problems such as low fertility, higher risk of diseases and genetic disorder. All these problems can sound overwhelming to first-time parents. Not only being confronted with health challenges at midlife, but these couples also have to deal with their retirement life as they would not be supported by their children when they are old. From the society perspective, later conception in life can decrease the birth rate and labour force can be in short in the near future.

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

1 分析晚育对于家庭的影响：对产妇和孩子健康的影响，以及到退休时孩子还没有抚养老人能力的担忧

2 分析晚育对社会的影响：降低婴儿出生率以及减少未来劳动力

此段功能

本段是文章第三段，完成本题写作的第二个要求:分析晚育对家庭和社会造成的影响

In conclusion, the reasons for having babies later in life are largely attributed to working women and the drawbacks seem to outweigh the benefits. Although parents may be more prepared for a new family member, they have to take more risks of health of both mothers and babies. Meanwhile, the society has to face labour shortage.

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

全文总结

此段功能

再次重申晚育现象的原因和对家庭社会的负面影响

满分要素剖析：

一、语言表达

本文的语言简洁明了，不刻意用长难句，旨在客观清晰的表达作者的观点。作者常常非常巧妙的运用并列句、从句、逻辑连接词等等将几个意群连成精练的一句话，使得全文的信息量丰富，内容充实。

1. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons and analyze its effects both on family and on society as a whole.

这句话高度概括了全文的主要内容。In this essay, I will discuss…and analyze…这个句型可以在议论文写作的开篇借鉴。

2. Not only being confronted with health challenges at midlife, but these couples also have to deal with their retirement life as they would not be supported by their children when they are old.

本句的语言非常紧凑。用being confronted with…避免主语的重复，同时用as巧妙的解释原因。本句意为：晚育的夫妇不但在中年的时候要面对高龄生育的危险，而且在退休之后不能指望未成年的孩子赡养他们。

3. In conclusion, the reasons for having babies later in life are largely attributed to working women and the drawbacks seem to outweigh the benefits.

本句用并列句高度概括全文的论证重点：晚育的原因很大程度上是因为女性忙于工作，这种现象的负面影响是大于优点的。

二、逻辑结构

本文是典型的总分总结构的议论文。作者严格按照题干的要求，开篇先陈述事实并点明全文的逻辑结构和主要内容，第二部分开始先解决第一个问题----造成晚育的原因，再论证第二的问题----晚育对家庭和社会造成的影响。最后一段对全文进行高度概括。

雅思写作机经2012年12月1日

题目: More and more companies are allowing employees to work from home.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, telecommuting is increasingly popular in many parts of the world, by which Employees are able to take office at home. As far as I am concerned, it is a favorable development.

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

1 描述现实

2 表达观点

此段功能

首段开篇摆明观点

Firstly, working at home, undoubtedly, saves the employees a large amount of commuting hours, for they do not need to get up early and take public transport to the office. Also, the spending on public transport could be reduced to a large extent.

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

1 论据一的第一小点：在家工作可节省上班路上的时间

2 论据一的第二小点：在家工作可节省路费

此段功能

本段是文章第二段， 从正面论述在家工作的优点

Secondly, their working hours are more flexible than those who work in office. It is mainly because if the staff members work at home, then they are able to adjust their own time schedule more flexibly, without too much stress proceeding from heavy workload allocated by their boss. Thirdly, employers are also the beneficiaries of SOHO. It is due to the fact that telecommuting will save a considerable amount of rent. The money could be further used for capital turnover.

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

1 论据二：在家工作可灵活掌控工作时间

2 论据三：在家工作可节省办公室的租金

此段功能

本段是文章第三段，继续从正面论述在家工作的优点

Overall, telecommuting is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it may help employers save much costs and enable employees to work more flexibly. On the other hand, if employers could try to intensify supervision and pay closer attention to the cultivation of the staff’s team spirit, then it would be much better. Anyway, it is generally a positive development.

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

1 总起提出在家工作有利有弊

2从正反两方面进行简要分析

3 最后点明总的来说还是利大于弊

此段功能

对全文进行客观辩证的总结

满分要素剖析：

一、语言表达

本文的语言简洁明了，不刻意用长难句，旨在客观清晰的表达作者的观点。列举列证时点到为止，恰到好处，避免冗长赘述。

1. Nowadays, telecommuting is increasingly popular in many parts of the world, by which Employees are able to take office at home.  

本句运用从句，解释了telecommuting的含义。其中，which指代telecommuting。

2. Secondly, their working hours are more flexible than those who work in office.

本句用those指代those employees。意为：在家工作的人要比在办公室工作的人工作时间更加灵活。

3. It is mainly because if the staff members work at home, then they are able to adjust their own time schedule more flexibly, without too much stress proceeding from heavy workload allocated by their boss.

本句中运用两个分词短语，使表达更加紧凑连贯。其中，proceeding from heavy workload修饰的是stress, allocated by their boss修饰的是heavy workload。翻译成中文为:不会面对老板分配的繁重工作压力。

二、逻辑结构

本文是典型的总分总结构的议论文。开篇先陈述事实并表达观点，第二部分开始分别以三个论据从正面支持了作者的观点。最后一段话稍作让步，提出虽然在家工作也有一些需要改进的地方，但总体来说还是利大于弊的。