雅思机经大作文2013年1月19日

题目:Caring for children isprobably the most important thing of the society. It is suggested that allmothers and fathers should be required to take the childcare courses.

To what extent do you agreeor disagree with the statement?

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分段赏析

Nowadays, childcare has becomea heated topic of discussion. Some people take a view that all parents aresupposed to sign up for the relevant courses. Personally, I am in favor of sucha viewpoint.

【此段结构】1 描述现实2 表达观点  

【此段功能】首段开篇摆明观点：父母确实应该去上育儿课  

The primary reasoncontributing to my argument is that a large number of youngsters, beforebecoming parents, are relatively self-centered and immature. Some of them areeven lack of a sense of social responsibility. As a consequence, they may notget well-prepared for shouldering the responsibility for bringing up their ownchildren. Thus, childcare program is of necessity when we consider that it isable to intensify young parents’ awareness of taking good care of theirchildren.Another reason I have to mention is that attending such courses canalso strengthen the family ties of the participants themselves, as they willbetter understand their own parents, which can add to mutual understandingbetween their parents and the young citizens.

【此段结构】1 第一个论据支持观点：年轻夫妇不成熟没有经验，需要学习类似的课程才能更好的照顾孩子2 第二个论据支持观点：参加类似的育儿课程可以增进家庭成员之间的关系  

【此段功能】本段是文章第二段，从正面论述学习育儿课程的好处  

If some parents have alreadybeen equipped with sufficient skills about bringing up children, they do notneed to participate in such programs.What is more, one particular teachingmethodology is absolutely not suitable for all children. Therefore, youngparents should not follow blindly what they have been taught.

【此段结构】1 反面论证一：已经具备育儿技能的父母可以选择不学习此类课程2 反面论证二：有些育儿技能并不能通用在每个孩子身上，因此，父母不能盲从  

【此段功能】本段是文章第三段，从反面进行让步，简要分析学习此类课程要注意的问题  

Overall, it is surelyworthwhile for young people to take part in childcare curriculum, for they areable to acquire relevant knowledge which does good to parenting in the longrun. However, they are also supposed to understand that there is no fixedteaching method that suits each child.

【此段结构】1 重申参加育儿课程是值得的2 重申参加此类课程要注意的问题  

【此段功能】对正反两个方面进行总结，突出作者观点  

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满分要素剖析：

一、语言表达

本文的语言简洁明了，没有刻意用长难句，旨在客观清晰的表达作者的观点。注意本文中一系列连接词的用法，使得文章变得流畅连贯personally, as a consequence, thus, what is more, therefore。

1.The primary reason contributing to my argument is that a largenumber of youngsters, before becoming parents, are relatively self-centered andimmature.

句型The primary reason contributing to myargument is…可以通用于在议论文中摆出第一个论据。

2.Another reason I have to mention is that attending such coursescan also strengthen the family ties of the participants themselves, as theywill better understand their own parents, which can add to mutual understandingbetween their parents and the young citizens.

句型Another reason I have to mention is that…可以通用于在议论文中摆出第二个论据。As句表原因，解释说明此类课程可以让家长们进一步理解自己的父母。Which从句修饰前一句话，表示进一步的理解将会促进整个家庭的和睦。

3.Overall, it is surely worthwhile for young people to take partin childcare curriculum, for they are able to acquire relevant knowledge whichdoes good to parenting in the long run.

句型Overall,it is surely worthwhile…是很好的议论文总结句型。Do good to表示有利于。

二、逻辑结构