作者:极智批改网 来源:极智批改网 2014-05-07
185-1. People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
185-1. People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons. I believe that the three most common reasons are to prepare for a career, to have new experiences, and to increase knowledge of oneself and the world around.
此段结构
本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即引出了要讨论的问题,即上大学。第二句话对下文进行了概括总结,举出了人们上大学的三个原因,引出后面讨论。
此段功能
本段是文章首段,对文章要讨论的内容提供了背景和社会上激烈讨论的话题,然后点明了作者立场,并提出论点。
Career preparation is becoming more and more important to young people. For many, this is the primary reason to go to college. They know that the job market is competitive. At college, they can learn new skills for careers with a lot of opportunities. This means careers, such as information technology, that are expected to need a large workforce in the coming years.
此段结构
本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。后面是对这个分论点的一个分析,即现在工作竞争非常激烈,所以为了找到好的工作,我们必须先到大学里去积累。
此段功能
本段是文章的第二段,也就是正文第一段,写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。
Also, students go to colleges and universities to have new experiences. This often means having the opportunity to meet people different from those in their hometowns. For most students, going to college is the first time they’ve been away from home by themselves. In additions, this is the first time they’ve had to make decisions on their own. Making these decisions increases their knowledge of themselves.
此段结构
本段是一个总分的结构,由两个小部分组成。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。后面第二句话对主旨进行了简要分析。第三句话是对现在学生的进行的一个状况分析。In addition引出了本段的第二个部分,进一步阐述了本段分论点。
此段功能
本段是文章的第三段,也就是正文第二段,写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。
Besides looking for self-knowledge, people also attend a university or college to expand their knowledge in subjects they find interesting. For many, this will be their last chance for a long time to learn about something that doesn’t relate directly to a career.
此段结构
本段只有两句话,第一话用besides承接上文,并陈述了本段的新分论点。第二句话对此进行了分析,针对了大多数学生的现况。
此段功能
本段是文章的第四段,也就是正文第三段,写了支持作者立场的第三个分论点。
I would recommend that people not be so focused on a career. They should go to college to have new experiences and learn about themselves and the world they live in.
此段结构
本段只有两句话。第一句话承接了上文。第二句话重申本文主论点,并对此进行了总结分析。
此段功能
本段是文章的尾段,对上文进行了承接,并对论点进行了概括分析,最后重申论点,让文章更加立场明确。
全文点评:
1. 本文是正正正的大正型支持文章,结构标准,逻辑清晰。
2. 文章首段写的非常标准,简单明了,并对下文的几个正文段都用几个词组进行了概括,纵览全文。
满分因素剖析
一、语言方面:
文章语言比较平实,论证恰到好处,没有过多用来炫技的语句,很少有语法或逻辑错误,读起来清晰自然。
1. I believe that the three most common reasons are to prepare for a career, to have new experiences, and to increase knowledge of oneself and the world around.
此句中,believe后面引导宾语从句,that后面的内容出现在及物动词后面,做主句的宾语,用来表达作者的看法和观点。在结构上,此句是文章开头段的最后一句话,承接上面作者提出的观点,提出三个分论点,引出下文,是文章的逻辑与层次更加清晰。
2. In additions, this is the first time they’ve had to make decisions on their own.
此句出现在论证段落中,承接论证的上一个层次,引出论证的下一个层次。in addition是一个连词短语,表示“此外,其次”,相同意思的还有additionally,furthermore,moreover, besides, also, what’s more。 在托福考试中,考官非常看重连词的使用,因为这些词往往可以文章的结构和层次更加清晰,是论证更加有逻辑性。
3. Besides looking for self-knowledge, people also attend a university or college to expand their knowledge in subjects they find interesting.
此句中,Besides是一个介词,后面接动词的ing形式,构成介词短语,意思为“除了...以外”。此句出现在文章第三个论证段的开头,besides引导的介词短语可以承接上文,而主句可以提出本段的论点,这种衔接方式是文章更加流畅。Expand的意思是“扩充,拓展”,expand knowledge表示“扩充知识”。这种表达很形象,很生动,比常用的“acquire, obtain”更有感染力,大家学习模仿这种表达。
二、结构方面
本文是一篇标准的五段论证结构,开头一段,中间论证三段,最后结尾一段。论证部分采用正正正的大正论证结构,段落鲜明,结构清晰。开头部分开门见山,出现了 prepare for a career, to have new experiences, and to increase knowledge of oneself and the world around.
这三个中间的分论点。作者在论证过程中用到很多链接词,这样是文章结构紧密,逻辑清晰。最后一段收束全文,是文章浑然一体,看上去一目了然。
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