作者:极智批改网 来源:极智批改网 2014-04-03
185-3. Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The twentieth century has brought with it many advances. With those advances, human lives have changed dramatically. In some ways life is worse, but mostly it is better. Changes in food preparation methods, for example, have improved our lives greatly.
185-3. Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The twentieth century has brought with it many advances. With those advances, human lives have changed dramatically. In some ways life is worse, but mostly it is better. Changes in food preparation methods, for example, have improved our lives greatly.
分总结构。本段第一句话提出了本文的讨论背景,即本文讨论的是进步问题,今昔对比,现在的生活较以前有很大的进步。后面几句话都是对这个背景问题的详细补充。最后一句话点出了本文要讨论的主题food preparation methods,并明确了作者观点。
此段功能
本段是文章首段,对文章要讨论的内容提供了背景,然后点明了作者立场,并提出论点。
The convenience of preparing food today is amazing. Even stoves have gotten too slow for us. Microwave cooking is much easier. We can press a few buttons and a meal is completely cooked in just a short time. People used to spend hours preparing a home-cooked meal, and now they can use that time for other, better things. Plus, there are all kinds of portable, prepackaged foods we can buy. Heat them in the office microwave, and lunch at work is quick and easy.
本段是一个总分的结构。本段分为两个部分。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。后面是补充的几个例子是第一部分,生动具体,证明了本段分论点。接下来对这两个例子进行了分析。第二部分是用plus引出的,告诉我们食物准备水平提升的另外几个amazing points。
此段功能
本段是文章的第二段,也就是正文第一段,写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。
Food preparation today allows for more variety. With refrigerators and freezers, we can preserve a lot of different foods in our homes. Since technology makes cooking so much faster, people are willing to make several dishes for even a small meal. Parents are more likely to let children be picky, now that they can easily heat them up some prepackaged macaroni and cheese on the side. Needless to say, adults living in the same house may have very different eating habits as well. If they don’t want to cook a lot of different dishes, it’s common now to eat out at restaurants several times a week.
此段结构
本段是一个总分的结构。本段由两个小部分组成。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。第一小部分:第二句话举了refrigerators and freezers的例子,后面几句话对此进行了分析。第二部分由Needless to say引出,进一步说,我们的吃饭习惯也产生了很大的改变。
此段功能
本段是文章的第三段,也就是正文第二段,写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。
Healthy eating is also easier than ever now. When people cook, they use new fat substitutes and cooking sprays to cut fat and calories. This reduces the risk of heart disease and high cholesterol. Additionally, we can buy fruits and vegetable fresh, frozen or canned. They are easy to prepare, so many of us eat more of those nutritious items daily. A hundred years ago, you couldn’t imagine the process of taking some frozen fruit and ice from the freezer, adding some low-fat yogurt from a plastic cup and some juice from a can in the refrigerator, and whipping up a low-fat smoothie in the blender!
本段是一个总分的结构。分成两个小部分。第一个小部分写了人们减少了不健康元素的摄入。第二个小部分用Additionally引入,告诉了我们应该多吃水果这些健康食物。然后与一百年前的情况做了一个对比,体现了现在饮食的健康。
此段功能
本段是文章的第四段,也就是正文第三段,写了支持作者立场的第三个分论点。
Our lifestyle is fast, but people still like good food. What new food preparation technology has given us is more choices. Today, we can prepare food that is more convenient, healthier, and of greater variety than ever before in history.
此段结构
本段只有三句话,总分结构。第一句话对全文进行了总结,重申论点。第二、三句话对上文进行了总结,把每一个正面段落的内容都概括了一遍进行了重述。
此段功能
本段是文章的尾段,对上文进行了承接,并对论点进行了概括分析,最后重申论点,让文章更加立场明确。
满分因素剖析
一、 语言方面
本文语言朴实,并没有应用很多华丽的辞藻,用到的词汇多是高中和四级词汇,但表达清楚,逻辑清晰,通俗易懂。在句式方面,本文句式多变,作者熟练使用条件状语从句,时间状语从句,主语从句,独立主格结构。且句子长短得当,表达自然流畅,并没有刻意炫技。这样的文章很清晰,也是会受到考官的青睐。
美句鉴赏
1. In some ways life is worse, but mostly it is better.
此句中,介词短语in some way 的意思是“在某些方面”。In some way...., but mostly....这种表达暗含一种让步的含义,在逻辑上,对事物的一些方面进行评价,而对其另一方面进行相反的评价。这种表达可以广泛应用于托福GRE作文里的正反对比论证中。大家不妨记住这种表达方法
2. Food preparation today allows for more variety.
动词短语allow for的意思为“使得,允许”,类似的表达还有“contribute to, make contribution to, make it possible to, result in, lead to”。在托福GRE写作中,allow for可以作为一个阐释原因的词,前面主语是原因,后面跟结果,上述几个单词可以替换使用,使句子多样化。
3. Needless to say, adults living in the same house may have very different eating habits as well.
短语needless to say意思为“毫无疑问”,同义表达还有“there’s no doubt that”。这样的表达起到强调作用,使后面论证更加有说服力。
4. What new food preparation technology has given us is more choices.
此句中出现了一个主语从句结构。What引导主语从句,做主语中的主语。主语从句常常用what,how,when等疑问词作为开头来引导,在意思上等同于it 开头的形式主语。这种把疑问词放在句首的表达方式虽然看上去头重脚轻,但是增强了语气,尤其是在议论文体中,这种表达是的文章的论证更加充实。
二、结构方面
本文是正正正的结构,三个简单粗暴的正面段落奠定了整篇文章的支持基调。文章结构简单,逻辑清晰,每一个分论点都展开的比较充分,基本都进行了段内二次展开。文章尾段还对前面的叙述进行了概括,convenient, healthier, and of greater variety三个词是对三个正文段的最好概括。这样的尾段承上,并进行总结,达到很好的收束全文的效果。
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