Arg-8

The following appeared in a memo written by a dean at Buckingham College:

“To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a new dormitory. Buckingham’s enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, should double over the next fifty years, thus making existing dormitories inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has increased in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, an attractive new dormitory would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham.”

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满分范文赏析

In this memo a dean at Buckingham College recommends that in order to meet expected enrollment increases the college should build an additional dormitory. To support this recommendation the dean points out that rental rates for off-campus apartments have been increasing, thus making it more difficult for students to afford this housing option. The dean also points out that a new dormitory would attract prospective students to the college. This argument is problematic in several respects.

【本段结构】

本段采用了标准的Argument开头段结构，即C—E—F的开头结构。段落首先概括原文的Conclusion，接下来概括原文为支持其结论所引用的一系列Evidence，最后给出开头段到正文段的过渡句，指出原文的Flaw，即其在多个方面存在问题。

【本段功能】

本段作为Argument开头段，具体功能就在于发起攻击并概括原文的结论，即Buckingham学院应新建一栋宿舍楼以应对预期的注册学生数目增长。本段接下来分布列举了原文为支持其结论所引用的证据——校外公寓的房租在增长以及一栋新的宿舍楼将吸引未来的学生来到学院。这些信息的归纳为正文段中即将进行的具体攻击作铺垫。

A threshold problem with the argument involves the statistical reliability of the reports about off-campus rental rates. The dean indicates only that “student leaders” reported these statistics; the dean provides no information about how these students collected their data. It is entirely possible that the report was based on an insufficiently small sample or a sample that was unrepresentative of the town’s overall student rental market.

【本段结构】

本段采用了标准的Argument正文段结构，即：概括第一个逻辑错误的错误类型和其在原文中出现的位置，接下来给出合理的理由和他因来反驳原文。

【本段功能】

本段作为正文第一段，攻击原文中出现的第一个重要逻辑错误——调查类错误。原文的开端问题涉及到其关于校外房租的报告的统计学可靠性。院长仅指出这些统计数据是由“学生领袖”提供的，并没有针对这些数据是如何收集的提供更多信息。该报告完全可能是基于一个不充分的小样本或一个不能代表该市总体学生租房市场的样本得到的。

Secondly, the dean assumes that this current trend in rental rates will continue in the future; yet the dean offers no evidence to substantiate this assumption. These rates are a function of supply and demand, and it is entirely possible that construction of apartment houses will increase in the future, thereby reducing rental rates along with the need for an additional dormitory. Without considering this possible scenario, the dean cannot justifiably conclude that an additional dormitory is needed to meet future demand.

【本段结构】

本段采用了标准的Argument正文段结构，即：概括第二个逻辑错误的错误类型和其在原文中出现的位置，接下来给出合理的理由和他因来反驳原文。

【本段功能】

本段作为正文第二段，攻击原文中出现的第二个重要逻辑错误——错误假设。

原文中，院长假设目前房租的趋势将在未来延续，但他并未提供证据证明此假设。

房租是供求量的函数，公寓住房的建设在未来完全可能增加，从而将使房租连同对一栋额外宿舍楼的需求一起降低。本段最后指出如果没有考虑这一可能情景，院长不能有理由地推断学院需要一栋额外的宿舍楼以应对未来的需求。

Thirdly, the dean assumes that as enrollment increases the demand for student housing will also increase. While this might be the case, the dean ignores the possibility that the increased enrollment will be the result of an increase in the number of students commuting to Buckingham from their parents’ homes. This scenario, if true, would render the dean’s argument for building a new dormitory untenable.

【本段结构】

本段采用了标准的Argument正文段结构，即：概括第三个逻辑错误的错误类型和其在原文中出现的位置，接下来给出合理的理由和他因来反驳原文。

【本段功能】

本段作为正文第三段，攻击原文中出现的第三个重要逻辑错误——因果类错误。在原文中，院长假设对学生住房的需求会随着注册学生数目的增加而提高。虽然事实可能的确如此，院长忽视了注册学生数目的增加将由走读生数目的增加而导致这一可能性。如果此情景成立，院长对于修建新宿舍楼的论证将是站不住脚的。

Yet another problem with the argument involves the dean’s final claim that an attractive new dormitory would attract prospective students to Buckingham. Even assuming students in fact choose colleges on this basis, by relying on this evidence the dean essentially provides an argument against building the new dormitory. If an attractive new dormitory would increase demand for dormitory space, this fact would only serve to undermine the dean’s conflicting claim that the new dormitory would help meet increasing demand for dormitory space.

【本段结构】

本段采用了标准的Argument正文段结构，即：概括第四个逻辑错误的错误类型和其在原文中出现的位置，接下来给出合理的理由和他因来反驳原文。

【本段功能】

本段作为正文第四段，攻击原文中出现的第四个重要逻辑错误——矛盾假设。院长在原文中最后声明一栋新的宿舍楼将吸引未来的学生来到Buckingham学院。即使假设学生们的确以此为依据选择学校，院长基于此证据本质上提出了一个反对修建新宿舍楼的论断。如果一栋吸引人的新宿舍楼将提高对住宿空间的需求，院长关于新宿舍楼将帮助应对住宿空间需求的提高这一矛盾的论断将被削弱。

In conclusion, the dean’s recommendation is not well-supported. To strengthen it the dean must provide clear evidence that average rental rates for off-campus student apartments have in fact been increasing, that this trend will continue in the future, and that this trend will in fact result in an increased demand for dormitory housing.

【本段结构】

本段采用了标准的Argument结尾段结构，即C--S的结尾结构。段落首先再次重申原文站不住脚的Conclusion，接下来给出可以增强原文说服力的合理的Suggestion，包括原文作者需要进一步提供的证据和信息等。

【本段功能】

本段作为Argument结尾段，具体功能即为总结归纳+提出建议。段落首先再次重申强调Argument作者的论证不合理，接下来给出合理的建议：院长必须提供清晰的证据证明校外学生公寓的平均房租确实在增长，且这一趋势将在未来延续，并确实将导致对宿舍住房的需求的提高。不难发现，结尾段总结提出的建议非常规整地与正文各段中依次攻击的错误遥相呼应，使全篇文章显得浑然一体。

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满分要素剖析

一、语言表达

本文的语言使用规范、清晰，词汇也用得准确地道，并使用多变的句式让考官读起来津津有味，这些都是GRE写作官方的语言要求。同时，文章的结构型语言和内容型语言相得益彰，结构是骨架，内容是血肉，二者完美结合。

1) In this memo … recommends that ….（标志性的Argument开头段引出原文结论的语言表达形式。）To support this recommendation the dean points out that …. The dean also points out that ….（引出原文为支持其结论所引用的一系列的荒谬论据。）This argument is problematic in several respects.（标志性的指出文章错误的语言表达。整体开头段是标准的C—E—F的语言和逻辑模版体系。）

2) A threshold problem with the argument involves the statistical reliability of the reports about …. The dean indicates only that … reported these statistics; the dean provides no information about how … collected their data. It is entirely possible that the report was based on an insufficiently small sample or a sample that was unrepresentative of ….（标志性的调查类错误的语言和逻辑模版体系。）

3) Secondly, the dean assumes that …; yet the dean offers no evidence to substantiate this assumption. …, and it is entirely possible that …, thereby …. Without considering this possible scenario, the dean cannot justifiably conclude that….（标志性的错误假设的语言和逻辑模版体系。）

4) Thirdly, the dean assumes that …. While this might be the case, the dean ignores the possibility that …. This scenario, if true, would render the dean’s argument for … untenable.（标志性的因果类错误的语言和逻辑模版体系。）

5) Yet another problem with the argument involves the dean’s final claim that …. Even assuming …, by relying on this evidence the dean essentially provides an argument against …. If …, this fact would only serve to undermine the dean’s conflicting claim that ….（标志性的矛盾假设的语言和逻辑模版体系。）

6) In conclusion, the dean’s recommendation is not well-supported. To strengthen it the dean must provide clear evidence that ….（标志性的Argument结尾段的Conclusion—Suggestion体系的语言和逻辑模版体系。）

二、逻辑结构

本文的写作体现出了非常严谨的开头段—正文段1、2、3、4—结尾段的逻辑体系：

（开头段）In this memo … recommends that ….

（正文段1）A threshold problem with the argument involves the statistical reliability of the reports about ….

（正文段2）Secondly, the dean assumes that …; yet the dean offers no evidence to substantiate this assumption.

（正文段3）Thirdly, the dean assumes that ….

（正文段4）Yet another problem with the argument involves the dean’s final claim that ….

（结尾段）In conclusion, the dean’s recommendation is not well-supported.

特别值得一提的是本文正文第四段的写作。该段首先通过Yet another problem with the argument involves the dean’s final claim that an attractive new dormitory would attract prospective students to Buckingham. Even assuming students in fact choose colleges on this basis, by relying on this evidence the dean essentially provides an argument against building the new dormitory.两句说明原文中出现的矛盾假设错误。紧接着，段中If an attractive new dormitory would increase demand for dormitory space, this fact would only serve to undermine the dean’s conflicting claim that the new dormitory would help meet increasing demand for dormitory space.一句对该逻辑错误进行了简明有力的分析，充分展现出了正文段严密的逻辑思路。