Issue-10.Nationsshould pass laws to preserve wilderness areas, even if these areas could bedeveloped for economic gain. （同125、148）

满分范文赏析

In order to maintain biologicaldiversity and a balance between man and nature, we need to consider wildlifepreservation. Wilderness areas need to be protected. However, if a nation isshort on economical power and the wilderness area that is being preserved hadsome resources that could save the country from economic troubles, a morerelaxed preservation policy should be considered.

【此段结构】  

文章首段，作者没有单一地肯定或否定，而是辩证地提出了自己对题目的看法：wilderness areas在保护野生动物及生物多样性、人与自然平衡方面很有存在必要，但如果国家在经济上有困难而wilderness areas值得利用的话，则对此需要更全面的考量。那么可以想见，下文会对从这两个角度展开论述。  

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因为题目的要求是提出写作人自己的观点，因此本段总启全文，简单介绍了作者对wilderness areas和经济利益关系的看法。  

Preservation policies are good ways toensure generations are able to enjoy the natural beauty of a country. Withoutpreservation, more and more wildlife would lose natural habitat and, over time,become extinct. For example, without a consideration for wildlife, people wouldcertainly use their amassingwealth to move in to new areas resulting in deforestation and, in turn, globalwarming. These trends need to be curbed by policy in order to ensure that creatures could enjoytheir natural habitat and rear offspring.

【此段结构】  

第二段采用总分结构，解释了作者观点的第一方面，告诉读者为什么需要保留wilderness areas。作者指出，不采取保护手段，wilderness areas可能会用作经济开发，野生动物就会减少甚至灭绝，森林退化导致全球变暖。也就是说，不保护可能致使自然被破坏。  

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论点一，保留wilderness areas的作用和必要性。  

However, a government has more toconsider than the preservation of wildlife areas. A government must firstpreserve the people. Protection is costly in that it requires personnel support at manylevels and sometimes bars natural resources. It situations of dire economic need, agovernment must consider more relaxed environmental protection policies. Forexample, to start with, reducing the budget for maintenance of such areas. Thismeasure could free funds to be redirected as needed. In more dramaticsituations, perhaps the protected land had a natural resource that could help acountry out of a financial disaster. This is yet another case where relaxedpreservation policy should be required.

【此段结构】  

第三段，对应作者的观点的第二方面，即保留wilderness areas有时不是政府的第一要务。作者从保留wilderness areas的成本过高，以及在区域内蕴藏资源、国家经济有困难的情况下，开发wilderness areas的意义。  

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论点二，在有些情况下利用wilderness areas的经济意义。  

Preservation of wilderness areas allowsfor biological diversity and better natural environmental but a governmentshould not focus too much attention on the matter. For example, if thepetroleum in Alaska had been protected instead of used, it would have beendifficult for America to develop. The purpose of policies, whether they areprotecting the environment or reinforcing economical and technologicalstrength, should best serve the people.

【此段结构】  

本段的第一句相当于对前文两个论点的总结，也是作者观点的体现。我们可以认为，作者认为wilderness areas需要保护，但不需要一味保护，适当时候可以经济开发。此处的事例支持选取了美国使用阿拉斯加石油的例子。段尾处作者总结道，任何一种针对wilderness areas的行动都应该是为人服务。  

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综合前文的两个论点，整合了二者的关系，申明了作者的立场。  

In summary, people have a moralresponsibility to preserve wilderness areas for a brighter future andcircumstance for our descendants but governments have the responsibility toprotect the people. The government should set policies in place that do protectboth people and land but, in cases of necessity, the immediate needs of thepeople need to be provided for.

【此段结构】  

第一句总结了作者的两方面论点；第二句的概括与前一段呼应，指出不管wilderness areas是保留还是用作合理开发，政府的选择都应该以满足人的需要出发。  

【此段功能】  

总结段，重申了作者对题目的看法，总结了其论点。  

满分要素剖析

一、语言表达
这篇文章的语言平实，没有使用过多的华丽辞藻，但也没有一味使用简单词汇，有些不复杂的词汇和表达被作者用得很有灵气。作者几乎没有出现语法错误，对时态和句型等的选择也很得当，句段之间的连接比较自然。

1.For example, without a consideration for wildlife, people wouldcertainly use their amassing wealth to move in to new areas resulting indeforestation and, in turn, global warming. 这一句中的amassing一词用得很好，表现出一种财富聚集、积累的动感，也隐约感觉到人们追求财富的不顾一切之感。因此，更突出了本句的其他内容——追求经济发展带来的对野生动物的伤害和自然环境的破坏。

2.Protection is costly in that it requires personnel support at manylevels and sometimes bars natural resources. 本句中的in that表示原因，即因为、由于之意。这个词组比同义的because更加书面化一些，用在GRE写作中比较合适。

3.For example, if the petroleum in Alaska had been protected insteadof used, it would have been difficult for America to develop. 这句话使用了虚拟语气，if…had been….提出对过去假设的条件后，对应后面可能发生而实际上未发生的would have been…。

二、逻辑结构
由于这道作文题的问题要求答题人发表对题目所谈问题的看法，那么除了全部赞同或全不反对，自然也有部分赞同部分反对的选择。本文作者对题目采取了一种辩证的看法，他/她没有否定题目的说法，因为作者认为保护wilderness areas是具有极大重要性的；他/她也没有肯定题目的说法，因为作者认为在某些情况下，政府应该利用wilderness areas 获取经济利益。作者的观点是将这二者结合起来，不管是保护还是经济开发，出发点都应立足于人的需求。作者构思本文也遵照上述顺序，采用总分总的结构，分段分别论述了以上观点。