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满分范文赏析

Nowadays there isa growing concern in regards to the role of innovations in education. Whilemost people think that innovations benefit learning process in various ways,actually, technology too often distracts students from real learning. To befair, I cannot argue that technology distracts from learning. Technology is atool and it can it can be used effectively or ineffectively.

【此段结构】   第一句话简介了与题目有关的背景；第二句话分析了题目；第三四句作者提出了自己的看法，他/她不认为技术教学手段会使学生分心，而是作为一种工具，可以被有效或无效地利用。  

【此段功能】   分析题目背景，提出作者观点。  

To begin with,technological innovations do help teaching and learning in various ways. Withthe aid of these technologies, the process of teaching and learning can beshorter and easier than before. For instance, if a student wants certainpublished papers of an academic discipline, he or she may look through a considerablenumber of catalogs to find the desired works. However, the Internet providesaccess to a world of published information all at the tip of a keystroke. Thisnew approach can save a lot of time for the students and could lend more time forreading the papers and absorbing the knowledge rather than searching for it.This example aptly illustrates how technology advancement benefited thestudents and their learning process.

【此段结构】   总分总结构。第一句话是本段中心，提示读者这一段是围绕着技术手段在教学中起到的积极作用进行讨论。接下来的句子用一个事例作为支持，讲述技术创新如何让学生们在查找资料是更方便了。尾句总结本段，重申技术进步给学生的学习过程带来益处。  

【此段功能】   论点一，解释技术手段如何对学习起到帮助。  

Secondly, whileinnovations can help learning in various ways, it is more important to rememberwhy we are trying to learn. What really matters is not the approach but thepurpose of learning. In India, where modern technologies are less applied tothe learning process than in the US and other developed countries, there are stillmany distinguished students achieving their academic goals with their hard workand desires to knowledge. What this indicates is that while technology cancertainly make us more efficient, we can still achieve our goals without it. Inthe US, where the software engineering students are given the most advancedfacilities and apparatus for their learning and research, it is wildly acceptedthese students are far less outstanding compared to the Indian students ofsoftware, who may share computers in groups. There may be a number of reasonsfor this occurrence but one reason may be in how the students use thetechnology. In India, for example, because the computer is a limited resource,perhaps time spent on the computer is used more efficiently whereas for theAmerican student, the computer is taken for granted and they spend more timelooking at funny pictures on Imgur.com.

【此段结构】   前两句总领全段，指出技术创新是达到学习目的的工具和手段，不应因为它而忘记学习的初衷。接下来作者用印度和美国的软件工程专业学生利用计算机学习的情形做对比，举例说明了如何用技术手段达成学习目的取决于学生如何用它，而非技术本身。  

【此段功能】   论点二，技术创新的成果是学习的方式，是为了达成学习目的的手段。  

If not guidedproperly, the technology might inhibit learning. In other words, technology cancertainly distract the students from real learning instead of helping them. Itis obvious that a computer can help students of science to calculatemathematical equations but can also be used for recreation such as net surfingor computer games. It is highly possible that these students can spend moretime and energy on recreations rather than learning when using a computer.Thus, learning is inhibited. Under this circumstance, guidance and restrictionsare needed to ensure the correct use of technology for the purpose of enrichingthe learning experience.

【此段结构】   同样是总分结构，作者在前两句提出本段围绕的话题，技术手段可能会分散学生的注意力，影响学习，如果利用不当的话。第三句起举例说明了计算机可以帮学生解决数学问题的同时也可以是学生上网和玩游戏的工具，如果学生或大量时间用计算机做娱乐活动，那么可能会影响学习。最后一句得出结论，在这样的情况下，如何利用技术手段需要指导。  

【此段功能】   论点三，技术手段如果利用不当，可能会影响学习。  

To conclude,technological innovations are beneficial to learning but when using thesetechnologies, one should not forget the real purpose of learning. If the userremembers to focus on his or her work, that will make all the difference in thelearning outcome. In the end, the argument is totally dependent on the studentsand the teachers using the technologies in question.

【此段结构】   第一句话指出技术手段对学习是有帮助的，但是人们在使用时不应忘记学习的目的。第二句话补充指出在使用技术手段时，学生将关注点放在学习上，才会产生积极的学习效果。第三句总结到技术手段对学习的影响积极与否取决于人们如何利用它。  

【此段功能】   总结全文，重申作者观点。  

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满分要素剖析

一、语言表达
本文作者并没有使用过多的复杂语法和词汇表达，但是清楚流畅地阐明了他/她对本题的看法。作者的语法应用准确，文章中也可见到一些地道的语言表达，可以看出作者平常对英语语言积累的重视。

1.To be fair, Icannot argue that technology distracts from learning. 本句开头的to be fair是一个固定搭配，表示公平地说，平心而论。作者在表达自己观点时用到这个短语，使语言更严谨。

2.However, theInternet provides access to a world of published information all at the tip ofa keystroke. 这句话末尾的at the tip of a keystroke用的很生动，它表示简单地敲敲键盘，就可以在网上搜到大量的信息，keystroke就是击键、按键的意思，比直接使用打字type或者输入input等词要更有动感。

3.Secondly, whileinnovations can help learning in various ways, it is more important to rememberwhy we are trying to learn. 这句话用到了it作为形式主语的用法，代替后面真正的主语，不定式to remember…to learn，保持句子的平衡感。

4.…whereas for theAmerican student, the computer is taken for granted and they spend more timelooking at funny pictures on Imgur.com. 作者在这句话中提到一个网站，imgur.com，这是一个著名的图片网站，如作者所说，有很多funny pictures。提到这个，会给母语为英语的批改者带来亲切感，也说明作者对英语世界的一些生活有所了解。

二、逻辑结构
通过这篇作文可以看出，作者的观点是不认为技术会像题中所说那样使学生分心，技术作为学习工具，对学习效果的影响可好可坏，取决于人们如何使用它。在总分总的结构下，作者提出了三个论点来支持自己的观点。首先，作者指出技术手段可以对学习产生积极影响。接下来，作者认为重点不在技术本身，而是要认识到技术只是学习方式，是达到学习目的的手段。第三个论点是技术手段使用不当会影响学习效果。这三个论点完整地支持了作者的论述。