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GRE Issue 114 范文+逐段点评+全篇总评

作者:极致批改网 来源:极致批改网 2014-03-13

摘要:

        GRE Issue 114 范文展:从结构和功能两方面针对每个段落进行精细点评;从语言表达和逻辑分析上剖析整篇文章的满分要素。绝对的权威解读。

Issue-114. Any leader who is quickly and easily influenced by shifts in popular opinion will accomplish little.

 

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满分范文赏析


Have you ever wondered about the most essential quality of an effective leader? Is it outstanding intellect? Is it a high standard in regards to morality and ethics? Is it a commitment to a set of principles or objectives? From my perspective, because leaders play such an important role in every aspect of our society, they require a myriad of qualities to gain success. It is hard to say which quality is more important. Consistency in regards to certain principles and objectives has advantages, but, in the democratic system, many disadvantages.

【此段结构】

作者在首句提出了一个关于有效的领导人应具备的最基本素质的问题。随后提出一些选项继续提问。第五句起,作者提出了自己的观点,并且简单给出了一些理由。他/她认为成功的领导人应该具备许多素质,坚持己见有优势,也有劣势,尤其是在民主社会。   

【此段功能】  

分析题目背景,提出作者观点。

     

Being committed to particular principles and objectives can help a leader differentiate himself. In many fields, leaders often take a lot of time to accomplish their missions of directing the enterprises. If their ideas shift easily from time to time, their followers may feel uncertain. For instance, the former head coach of England soccer team, Sven Eriksson, led his team to gain little feats in the World Cup 2006 in Germany, even before the game most people are taking them as the most competitive team according to their super stars. But, after being defeated by Portugal, commentators drew the conclusion that Eriksson paid too much mind to the whims of public—that is, he lacked his own leadership initiative and instead tried to play for popularity. It is the unstable strategy that caused England's failure. Sometimes leaders face the double edge sword: do the right thing and lose popularity or do the wrong thing and maintain popularity for a brief period of time. In both cases, the leader is disadvantaged.

【此段结构】

第一句可以看做是总起本段,指出坚持某些原则和目标可以另一个领导人树立自己的成就和风格。第二句提出领导者达成目标需要很长时间,接着第三句指出如果他们的想法时常转变,他的追随者会觉得他不可靠。第四句起举了英格兰足球队前教练埃里克松的例子来说明只迎合大众的领导者无法实现有效的领导。最后两句话总结了两种窘境使领导人处于弱势。   

【此段功能】 

论点一,通过举反例(随波逐流的领导人领导不力)来论述领导者坚持某些原则能使他们独树一帜,实现有力的领导。

     

Nevertheless, only upholding principles and objectives cannot help a leader gain success. Principles and objectives must be carefully chosen. Otherwise, the leader will find himself abandoned by the public. That is, leaders need to uphold the most commonly accepted principles and objectives of the people in a democratically formed government.

【此段结构】   

第一句话转折,提出坚持原则并不保证领导者获得成功;第二句话提出原则和目标需要精挑细选,否则,如第三句所说,领导者会被大众背弃。第四段进行总结,领导人需要坚持为大众所广泛认可的原则和目标。   

【此段功能】   

提出领导人坚持的原则和目标应是与大众利益一致的。

    

Leaders need levelheaded when facing the issues. When given a situation, leaders may want to remember, firstly, their principles and objectives and then develop a means by which to address a problem in keeping with the previously determined set of standards.

【此段结构】 

第一句指出领导者面对问题时应当头脑清醒。第二句继续说他们应当首先想到他们信奉的原则和目标,然后制定出与此相符的解决方案。   

【此段功能】   

提出领导人处理问题应首先想到自己遵循的原则与目标。

     

Furthermore, leaders should be required to maintain set of high moral and ethical standards, otherwise they will be unable to persuade the public to obey their directives. So when the leaders' principles and objectives conflict with public ideas, they should concern themselves with the reasons why such conflict is taking place and make their decision after a careful scrutiny. Adolf Hitler, for example, a great leader who committed himself unchanging sets of morals and ethics met a horrible end. The autocrat was holding on ideals, which did not meet the most commonly accepted morals or ethical sets of principles. As a result, he caused the world to suffer the death of millions during the World War II. Hitler's lesson tells about the importance of other qualities of a leader, which may be needed when establishing sets of principles and objectives.


【此段结构】 

第一句提示读者这一段与前几段是递进关系,作者指出领导者应保持很高的伦理道德标准。第二句谈到领导者的原则和目标与大众相悖时,应当检视原因。接下来举了希特勒的例子,从反面证明坚持与大众利益不一致的原则和目标带来惨痛损失。最后一句总结道这个例子说明领导者除了坚持目标之外还应具备其他素质。 

【此段功能】 

进一步指出领导者具备的素质除坚持原则外,还应持有与大众利益一致的伦理道德标准。

    

In conclusion, leaders are asked for many qualities besides consistency in their commitment to a particular set of principles and objectives. These matters should be carefully considered as long as the leaders in every field keep an open mind to popular opinions, and as long as they think comprehensively on the both principle and reality, they will certainly lead society to a better future.

【此段结构】  

第一句总结了作者观点,领导者需要除了坚守原则之外的其他素养。第二句补充说领导人应当有open mind,将原则与现实相结合,这样才能将社会领导向更好的未来。

【此段功能】

总结全文论述,提出作者观点。

   

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满分要素剖析

 

一、      语言表达
这篇作文表达流畅,用语准确。尽管过于复杂的句型不多,但作者十分注意承上启下的连接用词,以及一些短语的使用,使整篇文章一气呵成。此外,开头的问句排比令人印象深刻。

 

1.     From my perspective, because leaders play such an important role in every aspect of our society, they require a myriad of qualities to gain success. 在表达“我认为;我的观点是”的时候,有除了“I think;in my opinion”之外的很多说法,本句中作者选用了“from my perspective”,值得备考生借鉴。句中的另一个亮点是短语“a myriad of”,是大量的、无数的之意,大到数不清。

 

2.     But, after being defeated by Portugal, commentators drew the conclusion that Eriksson paid too much mind to the whims of public—that is, he lacked his own leadership initiative and instead tried to play for popularity. “Draw a/the conclusion”是表示“得出结论”的固定搭配;whim一词表示心血来潮,一时的异想天开,也就是未经周详考虑的突发想法,这里暗示领导者如果追随这种想法,是不明智的。

 

3.     Leaders need levelheaded when facing the issues. 这里用到了一个GRE级别的词汇,也就是levelheaded。这个词是形容词,表示头脑冷静的,稳健的,镇定自若,明白事理。分开写的level head是名词,冷静的头脑。

 

4.     …their principles and objectives and then develop a means by which to address a problem in keeping with the previously determined set of standards. 这句话中作者注意了名词means的用法,即它是既可用作单数又可用作复数的表示手段、方法、工具之意的名词,常见的搭配有by means of,“依靠…”的意思。短语in keeping with的意思是“与……一致”。

 

二、      逻辑结构
作者采用层层递进的逻辑论述了本文题目。他/她采用的是常规的总分总结构,在首段用一系列问题引出了自己的观点:辩证地看待领导者坚持原则和领导成功的关系。接下来作者用了四段,先说到了领导者不随波逐流而坚持原则的利;再谈到应当坚持什么样的原则(与大众利益一致的原则);接着论述了在遇到问题时,坚持原则的作用(原则是指导行动的准则);最后补充道除了坚持原则,领导人还应具备其他素质,如极高的伦理道德修养。作者在全文的第二和第五段采用了反面论证的方式,不仅令读者意识到反面的弊端,还同时指出了与之相应的正面的好处。最后一段总结了全文论述。

 

 


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